


areyouarealmonster's Tylorca Tumblr Prompt Fills

by areyouarealmonster



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Human!Ash, Jewish!Lorca, M/M, Prompt Fill, even if it's not mentioned specifically in the text, i will always write ash as human and lorca as jewish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 19:16:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12488932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areyouarealmonster/pseuds/areyouarealmonster
Summary: Prompt fills from tumblr for Ash Tyler/Gabriel Lorca





	areyouarealmonster's Tylorca Tumblr Prompt Fills

**Author's Note:**

> jo-nesboo asked: Tylorca - "Make me feel real again."
> 
> content warning for chapter: hinted past canon sexual assault, ptsd

Everything feels so far away. The ship is too loud and too quiet in a never-ending cycle, and Ash sometimes simultaneously wants earplugs and wants to scream to fill the empty air. 

 

The Klingon ship was loud. He’s not sure if their equipment was made to hum, to growl, to purr, but Starfleet builds for quiet. Subtle, soft noises. Soft corners. Silence. 

 

So the wall of noise that hits him when more than a few crew members are together is even more at odds, even more painful. 

 

And the lights, oh the lights. They’re scientifically designed to be a safe, healthy level for human eyes, and most humanoid aliens, but they’re still bright and glaring–a sharp opposition to the gloomy lights of the Klingon ship. Ash gets disoriented as soon as he steps out of his room–where he keeps the lights on as low as possible, almost too low to see anything–and it takes him a few seconds to blink the light from his eyes. 

 

He thinks this is what his captain must feel, and he wants to seek refuge with the man. For many reasons, not just because of the light, but he tells himself that to try to feel better about, well, everything. To try to feel better about the fact that he can’t tell if this is a crush or hero worship, to try to feel better about his dreams where Lorca morphs into L’Rell and back again. 

 

“Make me feel real again,” Ash wants to say to his captain, to the man who is slowly becoming a part of him. 

 

“Make me feel real again,” he wants to say, “in any way you can,” because he can’t remember what it’s like to be touched by another human, because the captain’s hands are rough and scarred but they’re still softer than L’Rell’s, and Ash isn’t sure he can handle someone touching him in  _that way_ , not for a while, but being held might just bring him back down to earth. 

 

It might stop the buzzing in his ears from the oppressive silence, it might stop the wave of pain that hits him in the guise of noise, it might help him find the light again, instead of shying away from it. 

 

“Make me feel real again,” he pleads, standing just inside Lorca’s door, feeling raw and empty and so, so far away from everything. 

 

“Make me feel real again,” he pleads, as Lorca collects him into strong, warm arms, as he folds over slightly to wrap himself around the smaller man. 

 

And for a while, the buzzing quiets. The pain lessens. It’s a step, a small step, bringing him back down to earth–pulling him away from the sharp hum of the stars, from the weight of the blackness outside the windows. It helps, helps start the process of loving the light again. 


End file.
